Die with dignity?

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Little Pea
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2021 4:08 pm

Die with dignity?

Post by Little Pea »

Hey guys,

I'm really struggling with my suicidal thoughts recently. I am trying to take care of myself, meditate, wait it through, cause I know it comes in waves, but it's just too much right now. Worst of all, I feel I am unable to live a good life and it just somehow seems "right" to leave while things are ok. You know, like if I leave now, I can leave nicely, plan it out, say goodbye. I don't know what to do. I feel since I'm already going to therapy, I've analysed myself through and through, I have supportive friends - I've done it all, this is just me and I'm broken. Maybe I shouldn't be on this world, I can't benefit it. I wish I could live differently, but I'm just so tired of struggling with myself and I really don't see how things can get better. The world is in crisis, nobody's dealing with climate change, teenagers are depressed and lonely as hell, we are all disconnected - and instead of getting my wits together and doing something about it, I'm here moping, unable to do simple chores.

Like seriously, what is the point of sticking around, creating more trash and carbon dioxyde, when I'm not even enjoying it?

I know I'm not seeing things clearly right now, so I hope some of you will maybe help me see the hope or meaning that I don't at the moment.

Thx.
- Lil' P
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Muir
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Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:28 pm

Re: Die with dignity?

Post by Muir »

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling right now. You can correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you feel you need to be benefiting the world somehow, and if you're not doing that you shouldn't be here. Firstly, I don't know you yet but I'm sure you bring benefit to the lives of the people who care about you. And secondly, it isn't your job to solve all of the problems of the world. Maybe you'll invent a solution for climate change, or maybe you'll inadvertently inspire the person who does, maybe you being there for someone will save their life, maybe you'll smile at someone and make their day. Sometimes things are hard, and it's hard to do anything - particularly so right now for many people. But that doesn't mean there isn't meaning in you being here, or that you don't have positive contributions to bring to the world. And maybe you aren't able to do those things right this minute, but that doesn't mean you wont do them another day. Those positives can be small things, and those small things have knock on effects that can create bigger impacts than you ever even realise.
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Little Pea
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Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2021 4:08 pm

Re: Die with dignity?

Post by Little Pea »

Thank you for the reply :-)

It's true that I tend to think I have to do big things in order for them to matter, but that it isn't true. The time perspective also helps.
I called with some friends and am feeling better now, although it's still a struggle.

Thanks for the care!
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Muir
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Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:28 pm

Re: Die with dignity?

Post by Muir »

I'm glad calling friends has helped you feel a little better. Keep taking little steps forward, you'll get there.
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Spork.
Posts: 21851
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2018 8:28 pm

Re: Die with dignity?

Post by Spork. »

I'm glad that helped a bit, Little Pea :)
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