The Scars of The Past

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The Scars of The Past

Post by MyOrwellianNightmare »

It’s always interesting to see other peoples scars, and how they make me feel like I should have put more effort into self harm.

OK so you don’t know what they went through in comparison to yourself, what experiences they had, what help they may or may not have got, if they’ve stopped, or if they’re just hiding it more.

But it make you wonder.

What if I had cut more?

Or a little deeper?

Or more visibly?

What if I never stopped? Would I still be cutting now? Would I even be alive now?

I’ve always felt a strange sense of pride about my own scars, I’ve never wanted them to fade or disappear. Why should I? They show a story. Or at least they show that I have a story to tell.

But, I have a child now, what do I tell them when they inevitably ask questions. Ok. Shes only 14 months as I write this, but she’ll no doubt ask questions. I didn’t start self harming until I watched a TV program about it and thought “hey, there’s a neat idea”. I was so young, so impressionable, and it worked, so so well. Do I really want to be putting ideas, even inadvertently, in to someone else’s head?
~ MyOrwellianNightmare

Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
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Re: The Scars of The Past

Post by Muir »

I wonder if those feelings are something you could seek support with? Self harm isn't something that we should, or even really can compare - and it's the same with our struggles. We all have our problems and battles, it's not a competition. I know they say the grass is always greener, but I think sometimes with mental illness we almost invalidate our own struggles thinking others have it worse, almost the opposite of grass is greener. But I think that's something that can be worked on.

In regards to getting the idea of self harming, I think we all hear about it at some point, or some people try it without having heard of it. But the mental health struggles are there before someone first hurts themselves. Hearing about it isn't the sole reason for then progressing to doing it, there's much more to it than that. I don't think finding out it exists is what makes you any more or less likely than the next person to do it. If it wasn't that program it would probably have been something else.

So bring your child up with healthy coping mechanisms. Make sure she knows she can talk to you. And when the day comes that she's old enough to know about it - be open. Make sure she knows she can be open with you, and that there are much healthier ways to deal with things.
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