a portrait of a disfunctional family- wordy and scrambled

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crazychick10793
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Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:44 pm

a portrait of a disfunctional family- wordy and scrambled

Post by crazychick10793 »

This is going to be a long rambly word vomit. Sorry in advanced.

My mom is a narcassist. I can't stand her. I can't play her games anymore. Her manipulation is killing me.

One of her most frequent games is to expect me to read her mind. We ask her what she wants to eat. She either sits there in silence and pouts, or tells us to "f*** off" or that "she doesn't f***ing care" but she does. If we don't guess exactly what she wants to eat, she just won't eat, often for days, the entire time blaming us for how hungry she is despite the fact she has been offered food and people have offered to go get her exactly what she wants if she would just spit it out.

Yesterday was one such day. I asked her before I left if she had anything to add to the grocery list and got the usual snarky "I don't f+++ing care"

So everyone else made me a list and off I went. On the way home, I got caught up in a riot. After being rerouted several different ways finally the police escorted me the back way into my street. That's plenty well enough for me for one day.

She comes out for dinner. "I haven't eaten for two days and you expect me to eat TACOS?"

My dad too, isn't happy. "You were asked what you wanted."

She stomped around the kitchen angrily for a minute and then reached into the pantry.

"SHE CAN'T REMEMBER TO BUY REAL FOOD I CAN EAT BUT SHE CAN WASTE MONEY ON GLUTEN FREE BULLS***?"

A box of breakfast bars fly through the air and hit me. Hard.

She storms back to her room. None of them say a word. None of them stand up for me.

I get up. I slam the door. Now my dad is suddenly paying attention.

"Don't slam my door!"

Funny, my mom slammed the door so hard she broke the handle and he replaced it without a word.

I slammed the door several more times.

'I HAD TO GO THROUGH A RIOT TO BRING HER FOOD AND YOU GUYS SAY JACK SHIT NOTHING WHEN SHE THROWS IT AT ME? NOT A THING? YA'LL NEED TO GROW SOME BALLS!"

I go back into my room and throw a book at the wall

then a medicine bottle

then a pillow

I throw my face into my mattress and scream.

She's the one who threw several cases of soda on the front lawn while screaming because I forgot to put them in the fridge

But I'm the reason the neighbors think we're trash?

She's the one who started a full on brawl with 11 year old me in the supermarket down the street over a dollar toy snuck into the cart, backhanding me across the face several times.

BUT I'M THE REASON THE NEIGHBORS THINK WE'RE TRASH?

It's 5 pm. She hasn't said a word to me all day. It must be a record. Maybe she finally realized she pushed me over the edge.

I like it better this way, to be honest.

The silence is so, so peaceful.
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Muir
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Re: a portrait of a disfunctional family- wordy and scrambled

Post by Muir »

I'm sorry crazychick, that sounds really difficult to deal with. I'm glad you're getting a little peace from it for the moment. Has anyone maybe had a chat with your mum's GP to voice any concerns about her?

I hope you're doing as okay as you can be.
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Spork.
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Re: a portrait of a disfunctional family- wordy and scrambled

Post by Spork. »

I'm very sorry you have to go through that chick. It's not easy to deal with those things, not even just physically but mentally those things start to weigh on you in a big way.

How're you feeling this morning?
crazychick10793
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Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:44 pm

Re: a portrait of a disfunctional family- wordy and scrambled

Post by crazychick10793 »

Spork. wrote:
Tue Jun 09, 2020 8:42 am
I'm very sorry you have to go through that chick. It's not easy to deal with those things, not even just physically but mentally those things start to weigh on you in a big way.

How're you feeling this morning?
I’m feeling a little bit better.

I’m on the waitlist for apartments. I’m going to move out as soon as I can. But low income housing takes a while. Thankfully not as long in my county as some others. I’ve been told we (my fiancé and I) are on a waitlist of 6-8 months, a year maybe. Some bigger cities the wait can be 5-10 YEARS.

Unfortunately we don’t make enough income for regular apartments. I make under poverty wage here in my county and my fiancé is disabled and currently not making income (but not receiving disability either due to lack of diagnosis. She can’t walk well without physical support, but has no actual diagnosis and not enough education for most desk jobs. The economy is rough.)
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Spork.
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Re: a portrait of a disfunctional family- wordy and scrambled

Post by Spork. »

That's very frustrating. I don't know the disability system there but I know ours absolutely sucks. More of a try and prevent anybody from being on it unless they have absolute proof you can't refute. Also depends a lot upon the person you get in the face to face interviews and their knowledge and understanding of your issues.
crazychick10793
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Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:44 pm

Re: a portrait of a disfunctional family- wordy and scrambled

Post by crazychick10793 »

Spork. wrote:
Tue Jun 09, 2020 12:58 pm
That's very frustrating. I don't know the disability system there but I know ours absolutely sucks. More of a try and prevent anybody from being on it unless they have absolute proof you can't refute. Also depends a lot upon the person you get in the face to face interviews and their knowledge and understanding of your issues.
Ours is very frustrating too. My aunt and uncle, years ago, tried to get SSI for their young daughter, who has a rare form of epilepsy. Her medications were costing them like 1700 US at the time and they were living on one income with 5 children. They denied them on the spot, throwing their form right in the trash without even filing it, based on the fact that they as a family, owned two cars- my uncle’s work car and my aunt’s very old no frills minivan that she uses to drive the kids.
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Spork.
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Re: a portrait of a disfunctional family- wordy and scrambled

Post by Spork. »

Yeah, that definitely doesn't seem like a good system. I'm sorry you guys have to deal with that rubbish too.
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Muir
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Re: a portrait of a disfunctional family- wordy and scrambled

Post by Muir »

I'm sorry the system is so bad. At least the wait is months, not years and there's some hope ahead for you
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